Full Circle
by Alabaster Plum
Summary: A more thought-provoking re-telling of the enigmatic bonds between Akagi Naoko, Akagi Ritsuko, and the man they both loved, Ikari Gendo. Rated R for violence.


I'm afraid now that I may have never been a very good mother for you, and may have acted only like a mother when it suited me. Wistfully, the attractive scientist leaned back and repeated the soft words she had fondly written to her daughter: "Like a mother.."  
  
- - -  
  
"I have no regrets for my work." "You're lying! Surely you can't forget her." The response induced no change in his indifferent countenance, which was as positive a reaction as she would ever receive from him. "Very well. That's okay for me." She leaned forth and slid her hand over his wrist affectionately, kissing him deeply as a blush spread over her face. This was the man she loved, finally reciprocating the feelings she had suppressed for months as she watched him distantly with his spouse.  
  
But he had not reciprocated the kiss. He stared at the woman, his colleague, the revered scientist, as she pressed her lips so willingly against his. And he resisted verbally, although his sounds were muted and unheard.  
  
Ayanami Rei was first introduced to NERV by Ikari Gendo, her first guardian-like figure, as a child of one of his acquaintances that he had agreed to foster. The action itself was arbitrary from his generally cold and detached personality, especially towards his own son. Nevertheless, the predominant shock was received only by Akagi Naoko because of the uncanny semblance between Rei and Gendou's deceased wife, Yui. Her short blue hair gently framed her pallid face, her deep red eyes piercing and arresting. Where had she come from? All traces and records of Rei's existence had been erased, and it was easily guessed that the action had been intentional.  
  
That night, Akagi Naoko would meet Ikari Gendo in an unfurnished motel room in downtown Tokyo-3. He would not act affectionately as he violated her continuously by her will, but the occasionally uttered "I love you" and the insensitively spoken "you are beautiful" were enough for her satisfaction. As he spoke these words, he meant them for another who would never be able to hear them until the completion of Gendo's greatest yet most destructive accomplishment.  
  
And she knew.  
  
As much as she was significant to Gendo and his purports, Ayanami Rei had been allowed to wander about the headquarters one afternoon. She had unintentionally stumbled upon Akagi Naoko, who she observed for a few moments, sitting pensively in her chair overlooking the massive Magi system as she recounted prior events between her and her lover. She finally noticed the young girl and hid her disgust and jealousy, instead greeting her with the pleasant salutation of a smile. "Are you lost?" "Yes." "Would you like me to help you find your way home?" "No." Surprise. "But then how will you get home? Don't you want my help?" "No, old hag."  
  
Her pleasant mien soon changed to one of surprise and anger at the lilliputia that had insulted her. "You shouldn't say that, or else Gendo will spank you." "But why not? He calls you that." As she said the latter, an indignant smirk spread across her lips. "That old hag. That old hag is no use anymore. That old hag is just a burden." The dialogue reached shocked ears as Naoko recalled the event that she had fondly changed in her memory to her liking; her first kiss with Gendo, when he had passionately returned the kiss with equal fervor. But he had not. He had not. He had wanted Yui then.  
  
"You stupid bitch.. don't you know you're replaceable, Rei? Replaceable. Like me."  
  
Naoko's fingertips had sunken into Rei's neck, her perfectly manicured fingernails digging into the warm veins that gently vibrated as blood flowed through them. But the body was limp now, and the warmth was rapidly fading. She had killed her.  
  
The prestigious scientist would easily be able to avoid any consequences and the facts would be hidden well. She would continue to sleep with her lover until reality would consume her and she would throw herself upon Caspar from the balcony where she had first kissed Gendo, and where she had first killed Rei, killing herself. Such irony..  
  
But Ritsuko, her daughter, would live, hating men for her mother's need for the constant presence of one in her life.  
  
But she would fall prey to the same mistake her mother made, falling in love with Gendo and becoming his disposable toy that could bring him physical pleasure at a moment's contemplation. She would know that he loved Yui, even moreso than her mother did, for she was a participant in the E Project that hoped to bring about an irreversible change in humanity and the world that would reunite him with her. She would know that he wanted Rei, even moreso than her mother did, for she would watch with exterior indifference as he rushed forth and opened the 200 degree hatch of the entry plug to save her. But she would be naive, and would dismiss these things for the false happiness she could gain then through sex.  
  
Why was Rei there, though? Had not Rei been killed? Rei never existed in the first place. Rei is the Chamber of Gauf, the empty cartridge for the insertion of a soul. Rei was one of many, but Ritsuko had despised them all, for all of them were more significant than her. Following in her mother's footsteps, she would destroy the replacements of Rei. Gendo would confront her about it, harshly scolding her for the act, before leaving her in the darkness..  
  
But one Rei, the third Rei would still exist, ever being more esteemed than Ritsuko in the uncaring eyes of Gendo. He would use her to complete Complementation: she would be his most obedient medium for bringing about the annihilation and harmonisation of all human beings. Before he would complete this grand and surreal dream, however, he would be stopped by Ritsuko. "I'm sorry, but I changed the Magi's programming without telling you." As she gently looked up at the ceiling of wires and circuits, she would smile, pressing a button within her large white pocket. "Mother, let's end this together." Moments would pass of her optimistic confidence before, shocked, she would pull a small mechanism from her pocket.  
  
Caspar, the woman aspect of her mother, had betrayed Ritsuko's programming. Naoko had chosen Gendo, the lover who had never loved her at all, over her own daughter's life. Gendo pulled out a gun and pointed it at the disposable toy that had become old after much usage.  
  
"I truly.. loved you."  
  
A smile.  
  
"Liar."  
  
A gunshot.  
  
Her body flew back into the sea of Lilith's blood as she saw a floating Rei above her.  
  
Mocking. 


End file.
